I was afraid I'd be a SINGLE school teacher of other peoples' kids with none of my own... if I really gave my life to God!
When I was only seven years old, it became clear to me that I could have Jesus as my own Savior-not just because of my parents' faith. Though young, I really knew He was in my life because of His promise in the Bible: "The Lord goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deut 31:8, Heb 13:5)
Coming from a caring home with a positive, loving father; it was easy to entrust myself to God. My father was a strong leader of our family, especially in his natural way of telling others about Jesus. I wanted to be like him but as I grew older, a sly trap of trying hard to please God gradually crept in to steal my contentment. Living with up and down emotions and having my happiness dependent upon circumstances, strongly affected my trust in God. Have you ever felt this way?
Later, when I went away to college, my desire was to find a loving man of spiritual strength like my Dad. Still, I was trying to earn my acceptance from God by living a good life and hoping He would answer my prayer for a husband. I wanted someone to love and accept me just as I was--but I was not accepting myself. I was shy and felt insecure about the future, especially when nearing the end of my studies. I was feeling panicky that I might end up being that SINGLE school teacher caring for the children of others. So, I tried to help God by arranging circumstances to meet a young man and by worrying a lot. Back then, it was really important to get married soon after graduation and there were no internet match-making sites!
Finally, I went to a student meeting my friends had been bugging me about--but to be honest, I went to have a look at the guys. The hang-loose speaker, however, got my attention right away when he said, "I know what you pray...God, help me be a good Christian but God doesn't want to help you, He wants to live His great life THROUGH you." Then he read the biblical promise: "I came that you may have life and have it abundantly." Wow! I realized that God wasn't out to make me miserable. I could trust Him with my future and I wanted to follow His lead! Do you know what? I forgot about the guys in that room!
Would you believe it? The man I married two years later was at that same meeting!
Funny. Jesus said not to worry. God cares for the sparrows and the lilies. Whether we marry or remain single, contentment can only be found in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ!